Feeling the Love

Apologies for such an emotional post yesterday. But I was really upset with some personal problems which is currently in the rubbish bin right now. So moving on with life!

As you all know, Husband's birthday was just 6 days ago! & I was unable to blog much due to my hectic attachment schedule followed by dance practices everyday. Yes, everyday! So I met Husband on a Sunday to pass her her gift which was a photo of us together pieced up into a jigsaw piece and a Burberry perfume which I think is damn nice la! Should have gotten one for myself. Kinda regretted it! HAHAHAHA.



Anyway, today Husband knew I was upset & she came all the way to my attachment place to pass me a box of chocolates! So sweet of her can! Totally love her ttm because she is such an awesome person! Love her ttm! HAHAHAHA! So thank you husband so much & sorry to make you come such a long way! LOVE YOU ALOT!

Secondly, I would like to thank Lulu for your words of advice and knowledge, for Amanda, Eileen and BF never ending care and concern and lastly for LP's LOVE! HAHAHAHA! Really love you people alot! <3>

Well, I guess that sums it all because I am tired! Tomorrow is Friday & I am soooo looking forward to it!

I did something so unforgivable & I will never forgive myself. I do not even know how to face anyone because I started everything. I cannot stop the tears because it hurts so bad. I feel so tired but I dont want to sleep because I feel that I deserve to be punished. I feel so tired that attachment is everyday and I have 2 projects in hand every week.

But nothing means anything now because I hurt my friend real badly. & she just kept quiet till I pushed her limit. I do not think she will be reading this & so I can blog about it. I feel so so useless & I must really learn how to change my personality. I hate hurting people & thats why whenever people make me upset I will just keep quiet. I will accept what they are conveying to me & try not to get hurt in the same way as they have hurt me before. I feel so upset I cannot even bring mself to blog anymore,

CLUBCRAWL 2010 - Dance Company

The bonds between us are held onto ever so tight for we know that once a relationship is strengthened, we will never let it go. The moment we took the responsibility to do a dance well, we all took up every responsibility to promote DC. A memory that will follow me for a Life time.

Happy Birthday Amander Husband!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDER HUSBAND!

Finally 19 & not forgetting she finally passes her driving test! So right now, she can drive me to school because waking up at 6am everyday is no fun!

& not forgetting Hotstuff too! Who also passed her driving test! Congratulations to both of you dears! Super happy for you! I really wanna go out and celebrate with you girls but I think I know just what you are up to right now. LOL!

Flu and cough, welcome back to my life. Because with attachment & intensive dance trainings, you are gonna be an awesome companion. LOL! GOD. I feel like my nose is about to drop! HAHAHAHA! Alright. Blame it on my super poor immune system! HAHAHA!

I'm tired. & currently I really need a listening ear. But I don't know who to look for becauese most of them are busy. I think I should just return to my slumber.

Updates on photos

Hey peeps!

IKR! I have been blogging words after words after words & so today I shall make it a special! Photos day! Since the photos are already up on Facebook too! =]

Faizah's Birthday & my new found friends!



& also not forgetting the dancers of DC! We all were celebratinbg Xuanren's 20th Birthday!

& here comes the intensive dance trainings!

Clubcrawl has finally ended. Unfortunately, I am soooo lazy to take photos and thus the rest of the photos are with the other dancers. So please do wait for them to upload!

Anyway, this year's clubcrawl experience to me was definitely a memorable one. BECAUSE, just 3 weeks befroe clubcrawl, Ms ong had to choreograph a new dance due to the theme name, "happiness" & we had intensive dance trainings like for 5 days in a week. IKR. Damn tiring! & after 3 weeks, we finally bore the fruits of out labour! Many people actually appreciated the dance! LIKE SERIOUSLY. They liked it! <3>

Also, I want to thank BF for helping me out so much during the clubcrawl especially when DC was sorta in a difficult position & situation. Not forgetting my attachment HumanLink team mates who took over my duty while I was away! Really thank you guys very much!

Though Clubcrawl is over, looks like Graduation is the next up and coming event! SOOO. Another 3 more week of intensive dance trainings before we go on stage from 17th May till 21st May! I am so HOPING to loose that bit of weight. UGH! So tired, i think I will just turn in for the night =]

Overuse of energy causes over hyper-ness

HAPPY BIRTHDAY XUANREN LOVEEEE!

OMG. Overly exhausted ttm. But who am I to complain when everyone is equally exhausted? HAHA! Day 1 of club crawl was fun & the mood set was just awesome. "Happiness", what does it mean to you?

Just a simple word sets everyones' mind running on a track just like a train. Causing people to reach beyond the limits of their creativity. NYP flash mob was awesome and so was every performance the CCA groups have put up! But not forgetting DC. WE GIRLS DID AWESOMEEE & I TOTALLY FRIGGING LOVE THE ENERGY WE HAD WHILE PERFORMING! 100 THUMBS UP! LOVE IT! & I am definitely sure tomorrow will be just as good or even better! With our DC bimbo spirit!~ YAYYYY!~ HAHAHA!

Putting the "happiness" aside. When TEP & dance clashes, it becomes like a natural disaster. Because its so frigging stressful when you have to meet a person's expectations & especially when you are actually graded for it! I can feel the tension arising & its not a nice one. Because my group & I have a project due practically every week. 2 WORDS = GOOD GAME.

I will be waking up at 6am once again & this ain't gonna stop for another 9 more weeks. AMEN.
Last day of club crawl tomorrow before intensive dance trainings start for Graduation 2010!

Attachment starts!

Aching legs, Blistered feet, Tired eyes.
overworked.
That is what attachment does to you. So darn tiring! & adding on to whatever stress I have is dance. Major dance practices are coming up since we have a graduation performance in 5 weeks time!

I think my schedule is more packed compares to the president! LOL!

20 April - Attachment / Booth Set-up / Dance [830am - 10pm]
21 April - Attachment / Clubcrawl / Attachment talk / Party Celebration [830am - 10pm]
22 April - Attachment / Clubcrawl [830am - 7pm]
23 April - Attachment / Personal Selling talk / Dance [830am - 10pm]

In 4 days, never am I gonna reach home before 6pm. I think I can just stay in NYP. LOL! HAHAHAHA!

I'm tired & I have so many things to do. Say "hello" to stress & "goodbye" to life, Clare! Not only that, I have to find 300 new members to join NYP HumanLink.

Well, let me explain to you all more about HumanLink.

I am currently attached to Nyp HumanLink. This is part of my attachment. It is comewhat like a form of a job agency. Currently I am required to recruit new members into NYP HumanLink membership. This membership entitles ALL NYP students who are looking for a job. Be it part-time,full-time or temporary jobs. HumanLink is here to help you look for one. A perfect example, Let's say you are looking for a job during the school holidays, just come to HumanLink which is located at Business Block B410 or just ring me up to make an appointment! Not to fret, if you were to sign up, we will not contact you unless you enquire about our services first! So if you are interested, do drop me a comment or give me a call!

Thank you so much!

Alright! This is a brief overview! So if you are interested, just ring me up!

Stressed, is the word

Oh god. It is barely the start of attachment & I am already frigging out just seeing my daily workload. Wait. It is not even barely the start of attachment. In the first place, these 2 days were just my attachment orientation period. FML.

I have datelines to meet, recruiting new members, setting up interview dates, picking up of calls & knowing what to say, REPORTS. OMFG. I want to die. It is super Freaky la. & not forgetting the piles of projects piled on top of my 6 other group members & I. Planing of events, don't talk about sparing me the agony because I am already dying in agony. H-E-L-P. Literally.

Seems like HR is not an easy job & I really do hope this TEP thing pays off! Looks like I will not be posted to MSC either! hahaha! So good news is, no stock taking! Bad news is, I will be sitting down till my butt expands by 100 inches. Alright.

Clubcrawl is next week! OMO. Performance is coming! I hope this time DC can shine because the dance that we will be performing is super niceeee! Reallyyyy. SUMPA GUARANTEE CHOP WITH PRESIDENT SIGNATURE! So please do come support alright? =]

Dance trainings are tripled up because graduation is in 5 weeks time! Stress is piling on & I do not wish to get sick. But I already feel sick. LOL! YAY! Dance will be tomorrow & currently I am so dead tired because I had 3 hours of sleep for 2 consecutive days. I think I am going to "toh" even when I am sitting on the toilet bowl!

TEP?!

OH GOD! TEP? HUMANLINK
Wake up at 630am everyday?
Admin work?
AWESOME WORKING HOURS FROM 9AM TO 530PM
Follwed by dance till 10pm.

SAVE ME!!
More updates when i am FREE!

Don't Walk Away From Me, Please

This post does not & will never pintpoint to anyone. Thus, its a general post where you can disagree or agree.

Someone will always end up walking away whenever there is a quarrel. So, FYI for people who always walk away from problems or your partner, LET ME TELL YOU THIS. Face reality. Stop thinking that by walking away you can let your partner calm down or what-so-ever. Because, trust me, this will further aggreviate the relationship with your partner. If you care about your partner then let her/him know what is going on instead of walking away to stone.

Seriously, by walking away from the problems, also shows the level of maturity you potray. No one likes to be given up on. & walking away shows how easily you can let someone go. If you want to bring your partner happiness, then prove it through actions & words. & not walk away. I am not saying that walking away means being a coward so do not misunderstand. What I am trying to prove is that walking away DOES NOT solve & will never solve any of your problems.

So think about it. What happens if your partner walks away from you in a quarrel. How will you feel? Not important? He/She has given up on you? Well, to me, it seems like it. But I guess everything will lie in your own perception.

Dilema Much?

It was'nt easy to start with. & I being senseless & stupid, spoiled everything.
I never knew it would be so difficult. But at least I tried.

Is this choice right? Sometimes I feel like I am someone extra. Which is sooo sooo tough not to think about. Because its true! Truth hurts. It really does.

If this were to continue, what would happen? Everyone is tired. & every problem that is thrown to me right now, I would just chuck it one side pretending that it never even occured to me before. In one way or another, I may sound irresponsible.

Running away from reality seems like the easiest way out but facing the problem shows signs of maturity.

I always thought that I could solve everything myself. Independent much? I dont think so! Not anymore! I'm tired. Emotionally & this makes me tired, physically. THAT"S JUST AWESOME.

One problem leads to another. I am not saying that it will never be solved. It will! But how long will this take? Maybe after I loose what I have will I know how to appreciate it. Maybe? But usually, this is what always happens.

Loosing a friend during this period was tough. Not literally loosing but we were once close. That is all. I really do hope that all will be fine once again! Where I thought that our friendship was inevitable. It takes alot of effort. But it's worth every minute.

Assumptions are plain hurtful. So do not assume anything. Just ask, & it won't hurt. Okay. Maybe it will hurt a little less. So do not assume & face the music alone. If you have any questions to ask me. CALL ME. DO NOT ASSUME. Seriously. Or else I will be given BIGGER shyt to clean. & FYI, I think I have enough shyt to clean already so dont add on.

Amander's Pre Birthday Celebration

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAI!

I'm sorry for not being able to celebrate with you today! I will celebrate with you once Cass comes back alright! Which is in 1 day time! EGGCITING!

Anyway, today we had a pre birthday celebration for my husband! Because, once school start, we will be so busy & I doubt that I will any time to plan for her! So here are the pictures!

Met stannly at 11.45am SHARP. Because that ASSHOLE rush me. Expecting me to collect the cake from Bugis when I clearly left house at 11am. But with my awesome time management. I met Stannly Tan at 11.39am. HAHAHA! Went to settle the decorations for Amanda's pre birthday celebration and then off to COACH to see what Stannly could get for her! & we finally decided on a wristlet. After visiting Kate spade & agnes b. Stannly! next time get her Hermes LA! HAHAHAHA!









Following that we went "teo heng" for K! & it has been ages since the 3 of us sang la! hahahaha! Miss those times when we had our showdown for the song "yang cong" HAHAHA! Lets have a showdown once again please! Craving for it! hahaha! However due to some problems, Amanda had to leave earlier to meet her friend! But we managed to meet her again for dinner at "Shokudo"! & not forgetting Amanda's all pink birthday party again! 3 years in a row. It has been the pink theme! I swear next year it will bve a different colour okay! HAHAHAHA!



Yupp! & this is Amanda's Prettayyeeee Princess balloon. LOL! The price of the balloon, I shall not reveal. LOL! HAHAHAHAHA!

& also, I have to thank Stannly, Kaisin, Gloria, Gracia, Xinyi & Lidia for making this party possible! Thanks for taking time to attend Amanda's pre birthday celebration! Hope you all enjoyed yourself! HAHAHA! & thanks Stannly for helping me on ALOT of things! HAHAHA!













Well! I guess this marks the end of the post! Because there are too many photos & I am oh-so-lazy to upload. & DAMMIT. I swear I need to go on a diet. Not "I WANT TO" any longer but its is a necessity!

Anyway, HUSBAND! Hope you enjoyed your time alright! =]

With much Love!

School is my new shopping mall

OH GOD. Why must everyone's Birthday fall in April & May. I am on a diet & yet I am eating like a frigging pig. This is sooooo depressing! HAHA! But oh wells!

Anyway! do any of you have any recommended nice english songs because I am really deprived from english songs ever since my computer crashed.

Next week will be a super hectic week for me! Because I will be back in school 5 out of 7 days! & making it worse is that next week is the last week of our holidays before my attachment starts!

12/4 - FREE!
13/4 - Dance
14/4 - Dance
15/4 - Dance & Attachment orientation
16/4 - Attachment Orientation
17/4 - Dance
18/4 - RELAX

& after that school officially begins. Life is GAHHH. Because I cannot even enjoy my last week of holidays! In just 2 weeks time it will be time for our clubcrawl which also means getting ready for performance! So eggciting.

I apologise for a boring post because right now, I feel so tired that I cannot be bothered to make this interesting. Justg for the time being. Wait till I find my new target to insult then I will start k? HAHAHAHA!

I am feeling damn guilty because I just had buffet in celebration for my grandma's birthday. I swear I will be going on a week's diet. SUMPA!

Personality LOCKDOWN

I shall now go on a personlity lockdown.
Quarrels will be the past.
I will just let it be.
No comments, nothing.
I have nothing to say.
I give up.
Really, I do.
I am at fault.
& so,
I promise to be good & nothing more.


From now,
I promise to just listen but don't comment.
I guess this will make every unhappy thing come to a halt right?
If it does, I will willingly take a step back.

Random

Alright. Its not that I am unable to sleep but right now, its either my weak, oh so weak stomach is reacting on me or I am having food poisoning. It hurts so bad that I feel like popping a pandol into my mouth at this moment.

Unfortunately, I am allergic to panadol. As ironic as this may sound. Pandol is suppose to make a person feel better but seems like panadol will end my life once the pill is taken!

& so Clare remains awake trying to find a song that has been playing in my mind! & right now, CRAP. I am hooked onto this song. This song depicts everyone's life I guess? I GUESS? Love the veronicas! They are like super awesome. Lyrics, tunes super awesome ttm!


Untouched - The Veronicas


Another good news is that my husband helped me so so much during these fast 3 days! Really saved my frigging ass from being fed to the cows. Serious. THANK YOU HUSBAND SO MUCH! & sorry for making you hold my house keys! =|. Now that you have it, you are welcome to use it anytime la! HAHAHA!

Alright. I know I am suppose to be resting! I should go too!

SAVING? I AM!!!!

I am going to have that willpower to SAVE MORE & SPEND LESS. With the help of my husband, LP & Bf. Evrything will be much much better right? HAHAHAHA!

I hope so! Guess that I have to cut down on my prettayyeeee things & goodbye luxurious life! I shall now procced to freezing my ATM card. *places it into the refrigerator*. Okay! This month is going to be a deadly one. PMS & no shopping means sad Clare ttm. HAHAHA! But also have to train I guess?

Like what BF say, next time if I grow up, no one is going to take care of me anymore & no one is going to spoil me anymore! So right now, I must train myself to save save save. Once in a while I shall reward myself. & it just occured to me that I spend on so so so much clothes that I cannot even close my cupboard. LOL! Okay. Still can if I put some clothes outside! HAHAHAHAHA! So so so. I am going to be a BIG SAVING BITCH THIS MONTH. I MUST live a normal lifestyle.

Okay. I shall try it for 1 month first. Hoping to see results in 1 month's time!

Word Of Thanks

Worthless Tears But It Certainly Felt Good Crying It Out.

Thank you, everyone who was there for me.

Revamps

Bf was so sweet. Knowing that I was so upset about whatever that I was & currently am experiencing. He came all the way to my house at such an ungodly hour. The fact that he knewI was so upset & yet he still made a card with many smiley face stickers & a big smiley face soft toy made me happy. So thank you v much!

Thank you husband for your neverending words of concern. Really v v touched. & thank you LP for your help too! & Cass & Bai for the listening ear. Hotstuff for calling me just a few minutes ago. Kerwin for offering to be my shopping partner & many other friends. Thank you so so much.

Knowing me well, you guys know that this will not an easy battle for me to go through. Because every friendship to me is important. & my words of thanks will never be enough because you all do so so much more for me. But on the last note, thank you! I will get that cheerful side back as soon as possible alright!

Going for a revamp soon! Since my mum bought me a stylist package! Which means new hairstyle, new hair colour, new highlights. Forgetting the past is what I am going to do. Leave the hatred aside, & start from scratch.

Why Not Lets Just Keep It A Secret?

Why not lets just keep everything a secret. When one knows something, suddenly the whole effing world knows. Why not I just shuddup & then the rest will just know nothing. Everyone will be happy & ta-daaa! Its done! Right?

& like what Bai always does. I will do it too shuddup mode *ON*. I love to share my problems with people. But if anyone dares to go to the extent of jeopardizing so many of my relationships with my other friends, then seriously. I HAVE TO SAY THIS. FUCK OFF. I do not like to use vulgarities. But many leave me no choice. When I publish this post. You can read it. But do not ask me why.

Because I will not even reply unless I truely gained your trust. Which some already did. If not JUST DONT ASK alright? Its truely annoying to the extent that I am using vulgarities on lent. If I don't want to tell you I have my reasons. Its either I do not want you to get hurt or lets face it, I don't trust you ENOUGH. Harsh as this may seem. But too bad. Reality sucks.

Just don't push your luck. Because secrets are meant to be kept & not blurted out. Secrets are not RULES! Rules, yes, meant to be broken. Secrets? I don't think so. You affect my life, I will let it go. Affect my friends, & I will promise myself never to forgive you.

Good Friday

Its Good Friday.
Fast & Abstainence is here.

Right now, I need alot of quiet time alone.
I really thank god for giving me such awesome friends.
I am glad that dance can be a form of distractuon for me for just a mere 3 hours.
It makes a big difference.
As much as I want to run away from all problems.
I know I have to face the music.
Making the right decision is never easy.
& thats why the answer may never even come.
Because many will get hurt emotionally.

31March

Congratulations to HSINRUI & YUSHAN for being the P & YP of DC! I am sure DC is going to have an awesome year ahead! With such awesome P & VP, everything will go smoothly!

Also! Congrates to Natalie for being in charge of DC's publicity & Sherwin for being the Logistics manager! While me, Secretary. LOL! HAHAHAHA.

Dance Company's AWESOME leaders! <3

Lulu has stepped down as P but I really enjoyed the time spent with her & Xuanren & the rest of the seniors who are graduating this year! & I will truely miss them alot! So please remember to come back & dance with us alright! YOU ALL WILL BE DEARLY MISSED!

DC's previous P & Current P.

Today, we have a new gang! Its called the BAG Gang! I shall not elaborate on it because it so funnily demoralizing! HAHAHA!

Anyway, Ms ong has completed 2/3 of the dance already! By tomorrow everything will be done! My muscles are aching like mad & I cannot even sit properly! Don't even start about the walking part. I'm practically limping while walking. Thank you bf for the muscles cream & spray! Very much appreciated! & thank you for coming all the way to my house to give me a surprise & help me carry a bag of cloth today! Love you very much! <3 face="trebuchet ms">Lastly I am stressing about the clubcrawl happiness photo. GAHHH! Someone. Please help me!

New committee! With 2 committee members missing! =]

No, We do not buy our legs from eBay. LOL!