I am not thinking much & I will try my best not to think too much. But sometimes I just feel so useless. I really don't wish to say my feelings but this is some what the only place that I can really vent out all my frustrations. Just let go & forgive.
Many words have hurt me but never as powerful as those words you have said. Sometimes, the words you use on me have left me speechless so many times. Yet, knowing myself, I tend not to clarify & expect to forget about the matter. But I know that I am just making myself more miserable especially when I think about it. I'm sure you know my personality. I will not pick on things, neither do I like to make things difficult for anyone. So I tend to avoid topics & pretend that everyting is fine. & everyone will be happy.
I guess I am someone who will be happy when I see everyone around me happy. That's just me. & I won't change that fact. But I guess, sometimes when it reaches my limit, I tend to just keep quiet & reflect on what has happened to me lately. & it always ends up in a way that I will vent all my frustrations on you. Which then makes me feel so useless. I always question myself. Why can't I just do something for once to make you happy?
I'm disappointed in myself, that I can never treat you how you expect the way you want to be treated. & I will never know what you want. Yes, you are right. I am fickle minded & I tend to live in my own world. Whatever you say is true. & thats why I have learnt never to talk back to you when we quarrelled ever since I knew you. Because, to me, my words are just non-realistic words.
& if you see this. Don't get angry. I have no intention of pushing all the blame on you. Because this post is about me being unhappy with myself. & thats all. Lastly, I truely apologise.
Many words have hurt me but never as powerful as those words you have said. Sometimes, the words you use on me have left me speechless so many times. Yet, knowing myself, I tend not to clarify & expect to forget about the matter. But I know that I am just making myself more miserable especially when I think about it. I'm sure you know my personality. I will not pick on things, neither do I like to make things difficult for anyone. So I tend to avoid topics & pretend that everyting is fine. & everyone will be happy.
I guess I am someone who will be happy when I see everyone around me happy. That's just me. & I won't change that fact. But I guess, sometimes when it reaches my limit, I tend to just keep quiet & reflect on what has happened to me lately. & it always ends up in a way that I will vent all my frustrations on you. Which then makes me feel so useless. I always question myself. Why can't I just do something for once to make you happy?
I'm disappointed in myself, that I can never treat you how you expect the way you want to be treated. & I will never know what you want. Yes, you are right. I am fickle minded & I tend to live in my own world. Whatever you say is true. & thats why I have learnt never to talk back to you when we quarrelled ever since I knew you. Because, to me, my words are just non-realistic words.
& if you see this. Don't get angry. I have no intention of pushing all the blame on you. Because this post is about me being unhappy with myself. & thats all. Lastly, I truely apologise.
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