Unrealistic

I am not thinking much & I will try my best not to think too much. But sometimes I just feel so useless. I really don't wish to say my feelings but this is some what the only place that I can really vent out all my frustrations. Just let go & forgive.

Many words have hurt me but never as powerful as those words you have said. Sometimes, the words you use on me have left me speechless so many times. Yet, knowing myself, I tend not to clarify & expect to forget about the matter. But I know that I am just making myself more miserable especially when I think about it. I'm sure you know my personality. I will not pick on things, neither do I like to make things difficult for anyone. So I tend to avoid topics & pretend that everyting is fine. & everyone will be happy.

I guess I am someone who will be happy when I see everyone around me happy. That's just me. & I won't change that fact. But I guess, sometimes when it reaches my limit, I tend to just keep quiet & reflect on what has happened to me lately. & it always ends up in a way that I will vent all my frustrations on you. Which then makes me feel so useless. I always question myself. Why can't I just do something for once to make you happy?

I'm disappointed in myself, that I can never treat you how you expect the way you want to be treated. & I will never know what you want. Yes, you are right. I am fickle minded & I tend to live in my own world. Whatever you say is true. & thats why I have learnt never to talk back to you when we quarrelled ever since I knew you. Because, to me, my words are just non-realistic words.

& if you see this. Don't get angry. I have no intention of pushing all the blame on you. Because this post is about me being unhappy with myself. & thats all. Lastly, I truely apologise.

You're 19. I'm 18

25 June 2010. BF's 19th birthday. & yet I was unable to celebrate with him due to school commitments. Adding on, he was sick. Poor boy. But at least he managed to celebrate on 26th June!

I would also like to thank all his friends for taking the effort to come~! Amanda, Joan, Hsinrui, Shaoyu, Eugene, Damon, JJ, Michelle, Ruben, Mcenroe (& 2 of his other friends whose name i kind of forgot =x), Aileen, Galvin, JiaJia, Teck Kim, Jerome, Eleanor, Lindy, Ben and Carlos. Though some were unable to come but thanks for all the effort you all did such as finding the time to write the small tiny card. I'm sure all your efforts and time came into good use! Because your presense have made the party awesome!

Although he found out about my surprise. TSK. Such a failure. NVM! Next year will be better HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY BF! <3

& LASTLY, Thank you all who came :)

Just 3 more days!

Life's good! Things are going just so smoothly. No drama. & I hope no drama so soon either! We will be getting our First TEP stopover results in like 2 weeks time! ZOMG. SO FAST! & currently I am in ELDC dying. LITERALLY. But I am taught how to photoshop! Which is really awesome. Because last time the photoshop I knew was to only remove eyebags and pimples. LOL! Bimbo much? IKR!

In just 3 more days its Boyfriend's birthday! I'm eggcited! Cos he is finally 19. Which means he is older than me. HAHAHAHAHA! & just 3 days ago, it was our 3rd month. So... HAPPY 3RD MONTH! <3>

I'm frigging bored. Seriously. The weather is screwed and my head is throbbing. But I still found this nice song sang by jojo! Do listen! Its awesome!

JoJo - Numbers

Updates!

Its been ages since I've logged into blogger. & just yesterday was the end of my 9 weeks of attachment in BSC. God. & I am already missing those BSC days! Where we spend most of the time having fun & laughing at each other.

Anyway, the next 9 weeks will be dedicated to ELDC! Half shift. tsk! Not really looking forward to anything because the next few weeks, wait, make it months are gonna be busy busy! With lunchtime concert coming up and after that YOG thing. GAH.

Whatever it is. Poly life is sure busy! =] & seriously. One more thing. I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. BADLY. God, can I have the motivation to lose weight from back then? tsk!

& I want to go shopping. Alright, I guess I am starting to blabber my cravings. But I want a charles and keith shoe. LIKE REALLY WANT IT. But I feel so lazy to even step out of the house. TSK!

toodles! =]

Blackberry Addict

Unfortunately, my pinkberry died on me after it tragically flew out of my hands yesterday! & so. I finally felt how dependant I am on a Blackberry! & so I rushed down to the nearest Starhub shop & finally am glad and happy to announce that I got my NEW BLACKBERRY! <3

Which also means that I have to start learning to be demure and gentle. Or I swear this blackberry is gonna last for another 2 months before it dies on me!

Anyway, I know my life has been so mundane because I am hardly even updating my blog! But I bet its gonna get very interesting real soon! But sorry dears! I can only update you all the good news next month! If I am not wrong! But I really can't wait to share this awesome news with you readers!

Moving on! Its the second last week of full shift attachment! & I am still enjoying my attachment days! Gonna miss all the fun we had! <3>

Finally done with all my reports & projects! Dance practices are starting to get tiring again! As we start getting busy! Looks like round 2 of tedious training is gonna start soon! But I am glad to say that I enjoy every single moment I spend on the dance floor with my dancemates <3

Selfish?

Seriously. Before anyone uses this "oh-so-hurting" word = SELFISH. Let me just emphasize something. It takes one to know one. Before you even say that someone is selfish. Reflect on your own actions before you even say a thing. You are not so great after all you know? If you are lazy and insensitive to the people around you. You have no right to insult your friends or aquaintances. Because at the rate you are going. Seriously, you are not even going to end up with an aquaintance.

Many a times, I always question myself why do I still have to take in all your rubbish. Why do I have to give in to you time and again for 1 year. Then I ask myself. If I hate you so much, what good would it do to me? Nothing. & now do you understand why I do not hold any faults with others. Because I do not want to become like you. Hated and detested by many. It already shows that you yourself have so much hatred inside you that you all just a selfish self centered bitch.

I seriously advice you to change your stinking attitude or even I will blow my top one day. I help people. & I do everything for a reason. I have known you long ebough to know that you plagarize work. So do you think I will still show you my work? Of cos NOT. You are just causing trouble for yourself if you continue your life this way. But seriously, I do not and never want to interfere in your life because I rather not mix with bitches like you.

You explain the definition of Bitch you know? A self centered bitch. So please look at yourself first before you judge others. Be realistic alright? Accept this fact.
YOU HAVE AN UGLY PERSONALITY.

SUCH A HORRIBLE WEATHER & NEITHER IS MY COUGH NOR FLU GETTING ANY NICER! But the photos with my husband are definitely getting nicer! Here are some pictures of us on a super hot humid day!

Happy Birthday Aaron!

Happy Birthday Aaron! Finally 19! But still bully me & make me do "bo peep" dance during attachment everyday! HAHAHA!

& his very very special present from the HumanLink group! =] HAHAHA! Hope you like it Aaron!

Anyway, Life is kind of back on track. No more late night practices in school, no more continuous dance trainings! But if I am not wrong Lunchtime concert is coming up! SO EGGCITING! =] hahahaha! Can't wait for a new chereography by Ms ong! & the fun tinmes with the DC girls again! Looking forward to this Wednesday's practice! <3

Reports are currently piling up. With personal selling, resumes and auditing reports to complete. My life is not what you can say "it's fantastic". Reports after reports! I seriously need to take leave soon and get a good facial with my GFs!

Currently sick yet again. Horrible cough. & the worse thing is, I can't stop couginh =\. Pisses me off to keep coughing like this. UGH! Someone out there. Can you please kill my throat for me please? =]

A fairytale of our own

It has been about 5 days since I last blogged due to my intensive or lets say, super intensive week. Graduation performance. I shall not further elaborate because I believe a picture tells a thousand words =]

Thank you to all Graduation performers and our "nannies" for making everything so successful! I hope to ctach with all of you again! <3